when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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