Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
