your room smells of hookers.
And success
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
