Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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