you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
