Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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