Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
