Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
