Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
