sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
