U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My vagina just recognized that song.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
In other news, I just burned my penis
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
