this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Randomize
