its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he wants to bone in the snuggie
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
organizing the empties. That sober.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
