And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
