Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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