Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
