Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
