Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
