So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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