I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
