i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
