Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
