he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There's always time for handjobs
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
