At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
