i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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