He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize