I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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