i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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