it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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