Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
