Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
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