Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
