Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
