You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
As shirtless as possible
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
