That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
