dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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