I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
YAS. BRING CRAB.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So. Much. Porn.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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