Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
