This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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