I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
