I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
