Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
