I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
