So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
