I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
