And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
