She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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