Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
