i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
