carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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