there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
