So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
