I hate your face
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
