I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
