Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
