I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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