If that was your dad, he is hot
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
