Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
