she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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