eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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