i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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