Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
