I can text with my tongue
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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