Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
