Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
